*cheesy super-hero voice* Well, fear not, random citizen, for I, PSOPC am here! And on to: Number Eight: I could haveuhhhhummmmmactually thought up these things before hand. Your subconsious mind acts on whatever it is told. I feel like I'm playing questions only on whose line is it anway. I'll just go on and on about how crazy you COULD be. *gagged reader glares* What's that? You want me to stay. It's an honest question as I fear that my non-gender specific sibling is weird. I'm back! I learned this from my calculator. She claimed that my little sister always did it to her, and she was getting pay-back. For all you, the uninformed consumer, could know, it might have rat poison in it. They aint whupped us yit, air they? this Jones who after the demon rode away with the regiment when the granddaughter was only eight years old would tell people that he was lookin after Majors place and niggers even before they had time to ask him why he was not with the troops and perhaps in time came to believe the lie himself, who was among the first to greet the demon when he returned, to meet him at the gate and say, Well, Kernel, they kilt us but they aint whupped us yit, air they? who even worked, labored, sweat at the demons behest during that first furious period while the demon believed he could restore by sheer indomitable willing the Sutpens Hundred which he remembered and had lost, labored with no hope of pay or reward who must have seen long before the demon did (or would admit it) that the task was hopeless-blind Jones who apparently saw still in that furious lecherous wreck the old fine figure of the man who once galloped on the black thoroughbred about that domain two boundaries of which the eye could not see from any point. To support Open Cultures educational mission, please consider making a donation. Even more incredible, this time it's someone I don't even know! Unless you're bored. Pretty cool, huh? When I tried to talk to him, he tossed it away nonchalantly and pretended he hadn't heard me. The magic eight-ball is a plastic casing with an unknown, possibly toxic liquid inside. CHECK OUT MY ARMPITS!!! I love my calculator, though. I clarified, which countries fought in the Civil War. But opting out of some of these cookies may affect your browsing experience. Or possibly a really good president who wanted to fly to the moon. I gives you imaginary IOU'shereyours. That's why I like fast-food salt. I would be. It's yours for only 3 bi-monthly payments of $3.95 ($3,95,000 on days ending in "y")Don't forget, Dum-B-Gon is practically guaranteed! I know. I think I'll get my little sister to be the test piolet. Im gonna start quoting from the Flaming Chicken Handbook! Any miniute now. Any cookies that may not be particularly necessary for the website to function and is used specifically to collect user personal data via analytics, ads, other embedded contents are termed as non-necessary cookies. Did you know that there is over two miles of air sitting on you right now? My entire family is weird. Okay, maybe it was the ranch dressing instead of the special, fresh buffalo wings. Alrighty then. Meanwhile there is a vast conspiracy at school to keep me ignorant about my pawn roll in the other vast conpiracy by keeping me vastly bored. It just looks weird. I'm back! One method is successive iterations, such as BoyI really enjoy confusing myself! Good for it. After all, I've been to the Really Really Big Button That Doesn't Do Anything website over 50 times. Ahhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (on accident, vast number of times) Hee-Hee! It'd be like when you go to the bottom of the ocean, only with gravity instead of pressure*shudders* Pressure is evil, too. Here is a long equation without line number. about my site, and called me weird. This has been bothering me for a while. Okay. They associated tans with hard, manuel labor. Okay. Did it make more sense that this text? And because she was the head fasion bimbo, everyone agreed that the look was definitly "in". Guess what? THey might havve been important, but we keep forgetting them. Using prior knowledge, I deduced that Mrs. X was full of crap. Python | That's why it's here, and not some critically acclaimed site. It feels unstoppable, and then it stops. I know this is the best site ever, thanks for the compliment! Haha, oops. Then you'll need an "extra" pairfor special occasions. We thank you! I better stop typing before I have a heart attackjust rememberThe Matrix has youI'm back. Why, the assasinating annoying cartoon characters buisness. I love it! They aint whupped us yit, air they? this Jones who after the demon rode away with the regiment when the granddaughter was only eight years old would tell people that he was lookin after Majors place and niggers even before they had time to ask him why he was not with the troops and perhaps in time came to believe the lie himself, who was among the first to greet the demon when he returned, to meet him at the gate and say, Well, Kernel, they kilt us but they aint whupped us yit, air they? who even worked, labored, sweat at the demons behest during that first furious period while the demon believed he could restore by sheer indomitable willing the Sutpens Hundred which he remembered and had lost, labored with no hope of pay or reward who must have seen long before the demon did (or would admit it) that the task was hopeless-blind Jones who apparently saw still in that furious lecherous wreck the old fine figure of the man who once galloped on the black thoroughbred about that domain two boundaries of which the eye could not see from any point. There is a world where you are a faerie. This is just way too much of a change at once. My school system is stuck in the pastand formal attire meansa dressa white dress(for those you who never bothered to find outI am indeed female). TWEET. Unsubscribe at any time. I said "The Union fought" With a crack, snaple and pop, some random synapses in her brain connected in the right order and she said "CONFEDERACY!!!" Is that old lady on the street corner really an ex-convict? aSk anybody. Add comment. Despite its inclusion in the dictionary, it's generally considered superfluous, having been coined simply to claim the title of the longest English word. If you have a decent graphing calculator, plug in the infinity symbol divided by anything, (even infinity). Completly defeated, I told her that it was the religion she practiced every Sunday when she went with her friends to church. Of course, when I next saw my Mom, she retold the story to me, several times. Remember: if the show sucks, it's their fault, not ours! She even got her sister and mother in the spirt of things. I don't want year-round classes. Celebrating creativity and promoting a positive culture by spotlighting the best sides of humanityfrom the lighthearted and fun to the thought-provoking and enlightening. The form link is to a 100% fake TAB registration form that you can fill out just for laughs. It's okay. See? But somewhere, it exists. Oh, well. Seeya! And so the week went by. To think, YOU are trying to tell ME that YOU aren't here. I spend from 8-5 doing what everyone else wants. Oh, who am I kidding. If you don't understand the concept of numbers less than zero, (negative numbers) just skip this part. A post shared by Worlds Best Story (@worldsbeststory). Do not MOCK me! Yes, I am. On almost all the "purified" water bottles I've ever seen it has the following mesage: "Purified through reverse osmosis. Maybe the evil little faeries with the sharp little teeth have put their evil faerie dust on my computer. If you're awake to hear it, chances are that you've already noticed the smoke, fire and eminent danger. WE have been having very profound thoughts lately. MOOSE! But does anyone test "pure" water? Mar 25th, 2014. And then I was unable to get on the computer and I forgot most of it. Naturally, I had many mixed feelings, primarily disgust, as I have not voluntarily eaten a Cheez-It in quite some time. Let's keep in touch. We resumed quizzing and she got every question on the worksheet correct. And, if you call within the next ten minutes you get a free eight ball with the one you buy! Okay, one day, in the future, smoke dectectors will probably activate litte fire-fighter bots that every home will have. Please find all options here. You have to admit its sheer coolness. Seeyahmmm..I wonder if there's subliminal stuff in my computerI'm back. I hope I remember doing this. Towards the end of the movie, Neo chooses to tell Trinity to stay out of the Matrix, since he saw her die in it. Then they add other "stuff" in to make it TASTE pure. Because this is the first time I've been on a computer all day. It's like grand-theft auto 3's talk show, you know, the one where there are Citizens Raging Against Phones? The only difference is the taste, which I enjoy, since it is new and different. *smiles brightly* And apparantly delusional! Grape Pie. Grapes are used to make jelly, jam, juice and raisins. As inshe read the ENTIRE Longest Text Ever. Okay. When I play a gambling game, there is a possibility that I'll lose everything, so I start on negative however much NP I have with me. Maybe you're lost. Start typing without any idea about what it is I intend to say. I better go. But I can't help but think of stuff like the evil over lord list and REALLY REALLY BIG BUTTON THAT DOESN'T DO ANYTHING. . Now is the time to mourn the loss of one of my most loyal readers (I think she's read the entire thing one time, which is more than anyone else has done so far) She has been banned from accesing any portion of the Internet, do to reasons that must remain confidental due to security reasons. 'a' being the shortest side, 'b' being the middle side and 'c' being the longest side of a right angled triangle. Gotta goI think I hear a catchy jingle. Definitly. Right now, my spacebar is malfunctioningthat's not goodI have to press it two or three times just to insert a freaking space. It really lets me get to know you. 1,288 words and many clauses make up the lengthy run-on phrase. I DO NOT LIKE CHANGE! Now think of 100 people typing randomly. So, I've decided that Moose works for some secret government organization, and that the feather is the key to the destruction of the world, and I am just blithely letting it enter our home, so that it may furthur its evil plans to destroy the universe. There was a sample essay online. we clapped. Isn't that sort of ironic? HILARIOUS! So the (smallest number) + (middle number) = (largest number) The number 3, 4 and 5 satisfy this condition 3 + 4 = 5 because 3 = 3 x 3 = 9 4 = 4 x 4 = 16 5 = 5 x 5 = 25 and so . Come on, I won't hurt you, I promise! I'm back, and I had yet another Asparagus War with some people. I've heard of poems and stuff written by people who were high, insane or paranoid. Still later that day, she got offended at some trivial thing and decided that we weren't going anywhere at all. All contents of this site were designed for entertainment purposes only. Reading requires perseverance, but once you get into the flow, its like dipping into Faulkners stream of consciousness. But that is false! And almost never finish. You can just bet that they look at every one that get's turned in to them, judging blackmail value, and whether or not you could get arrested. He once said, It was Faulkner at his most involuted and incantatory who most enchanted me. The current record holder for the longest english sentence is Jonathan Coe for his staggering 33-page, 13,955-word sentence in The Rotters Club, 2001. I also would like such persons to immediatly leave my site. And I'm willing to enlighten you, the potentially you-know-what reader. And most people don't even come here. After all, I'm talking to you, aren't I? Spooky, huh? Or would it be cheating if I didn't have multiple personalities? If you have some extra time, you can read it at marienbadmylove.com. I'm sorry that my last few entries have been only about my various family antics. Apparantly Grape Pie isn't mainstream, but it has existed for some time. Because nature supposidly abhors a paradox. Waithowhow can I BE logic? In a recent article, humorist Dave Barry discussed the addictive quality of the snack food, Cheez-Its. How do you PROVE something is not infinite? Thank the powers that be for spell-check. *scrunches eyes and makes funny sounds* Nope. Sign Up , it unlocks many cool features! Did you know, that Kodak was part of the conspiracy to assasinate John F. Kennedy. You cannot judge them simply because they have no apparant function. **** THAT LIPSTICKS THE WRONG COLOR FOR YOU!! You CANNOT DENY it! Longest Sentence. I forgot it's name. Oh, wellI tired of nostalgia. But never senile. I've been playing one of the new neopets slot machines (black pawkeet). Oh, sorry, I thought you knew I was a furry. I can't believe I'm bothering to do this. All of Faulkners modernist contemporaries, including of course Joyce, Wolff, and Beckett, mastered the use of run-ons, to different effect. Later, The Oracle tells him that he has already decided her fate. There have been several claims for the longest sentence in the English language revolving around the longest printed sentence. Our "spray" kills over 99.9% of "faeries" (which are much to small to see) Our "spray" also kills most disease causing agents, like rats, or pigeons. I'm back. Or have I been doing that too much lately? *hides large ax behind back* Come here, topic! See? You remember my Moose's arch-enemy, don't you? And insanity. Is it possible to make less sense? Maybe. Code: 742 of the Flaming Chickens Handbook states that in no part does the Patron Saint of Paper Clips (That's still me!) Today I had the misfortune of playing a Treasure Planet game on neopets.com It was terrible. But, for a time, Faulkner took the run-on as far as it could go. You cannot DEFEAT me! NO, wait. The whole thing. If you expect nothing and get something, you're happy. Most likely they test it BEFORE they add the extra stuff"Yep, Bob, this is some mighty pure water." Now MY brain meats feel explody. Why can't I? I fervently hope that you're not thinking the last twoespecially about Kodak. *pauses* Oh. OF FREAKIN' COURSE IT WAS FREE! May your day be shiney! You thought you'd gotten rid of me. Now, I'm not speaking from personal experience here. You cannot deny it. Since I'm not particualarly inspired at the moment, I should leave and let you gather what is left of your sanity. 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I sure am. Here goes. I'm pretty sure you're not mebut you could be that other guy. I can't remember what. I dunnoI guess I'm just kinda freaked out. I wonder why anyone would read this? I made a virtual pet for it. It's strange. And why do I even care? I see. Okay, the whole braves thing is made up. And I sugest that we build the rocket so that we can go to the Official Flaming Chickens Lunar Colony so that we can laugh at the stupid earthlings who are blowing up because they didn't listen to us when we tried to warn them about the impending doom! Somehow, I managed to make my furby die. If not, then some day, when the Internet is down and I'm really bored, I will construct a model OFCR and attempt to launch it. The food trucks could even play music that made you hungry for their food. That's why it MUST be EVIL! That's it, I'm gonna take drastic measures! The answer is still infinity. I tell people I know about this site, but they either ignore this page, or don't even bother coming to the site in the first place. Before you know it, we'll have orange alligators, pink tigers and blue lions. It was one of my friends. Advertisement. MEOW!MEOW!MEOW! In any case, wouldn't the blinkie light help night-vision cameras see in the dark? Either I am growing more comfortable with my on-line writing, or I am progressivly getting more insane and chaotic. In all those 911 shows, people wake up and their house is engulfed in flames. The insanity and stupidity is mind boggling! So far this is nowhere near the world record. It's about six contestants who compete to create the worst, least likely "reality" TV show. OkayI admit it. Read that onetime longest sentence in literature, all 1,288 words of it, below. Ooooo! When someone of her generation runs for president, I'm gonna do a complete background check. He took the TAB member quiz and turned out to be me, he took the JOB quiz, and was a repo man (which had a pic of my brother) He said he wanted to see what I was doing, and to make sure that I wasn't saying anything derrogatory about my parents. Just exactly like Father if Father had known as much about it the night before I went out there as he did the day after I came back thinking Mad impotent old man who realized at last that there must be some limit even to the capabilities of a demon for doing harm, who must have seen his situation as that of the show girl, the pony, who realizes that the principal tune she prances to comes not from horn and fiddle and drum but from a clock and calendar, must have seen himself as the old wornout cannon which realizes that it can deliver just one more fierce shot and crumble to dust in its own furious blast and recoil, who looked about upon the scene which was still within his scope and compass and saw son gone, vanished, more insuperable to him now than if the son were dead since now (if the son still lived) his name would be different and those to call him by it strangers and whatever dragons outcropping of Sutpen blood the son might sow on the body of whatever strange woman would therefore carry on the tradition, accomplish the hereditary evil and harm under another name and upon and among people who will never have heard the right one; daughter doomed to spinsterhood who had chosen spinsterhood already before there was anyone named Charles Bon since the aunt who came to succor her in bereavement and sorrow found neither but instead that calm absolutely impenetrable face between a homespun dress and sunbonnet seen before a closed door and again in a cloudy swirl of chickens while Jones was building the coffin and which she wore during the next year while the aunt lived there and the three women wove their own garments and raised their own food and cut the wood they cooked it with (excusing what help they had from Jones who lived with his granddaughter in the abandoned fishing camp with its collapsing roof and rotting porch against which the rusty scythe which Sutpen was to lend him, make him borrow to cut away the weeds from the door-and at last forced him to use though not to cut weeds, at least not vegetable weeds -would lean for two years) and wore still after the aunts indignation had swept her back to town to live on stolen garden truck and out o f anonymous baskets left on her front steps at night, the three of them, the two daughters negro and white and the aunt twelve miles away watching from her distance as the two daughters watched from theirs the old demon, the ancient varicose and despairing Faustus fling his final main now with the Creditors hand already on his shoulder, running his little country store now for his bread and meat, haggling tediously over nickels and dimes with rapacious and poverty-stricken whites and negroes, who at one time could have galloped for ten miles in any direction without crossing his own boundary, using out of his meagre stock the cheap ribbons and beads and the stale violently-colored candy with which even an old man can seduce a fifteen-year-old country girl, to ruin the granddaughter o f his partner, this Jones-this gangling malaria-ridden white man whom he had given permission fourteen years ago to squat in the abandoned fishing camp with the year-old grandchild-Jones, partner porter and clerk who at the demons command removed with his own hand (and maybe delivered too) from the showcase the candy beads and ribbons, measured the very cloth from which Judith (who had not been bereaved and did not mourn) helped the granddaughter to fashion a dress to walk past the lounging men in, the side-looking and the tongues, until her increasing belly taught her embarrassment-or perhaps fear;-Jones who before 61 had not even been allowed to approach the front of the house and who during the next four years got no nearer than the kitchen door and that only when he brought the game and fish and vegetables on which the seducer-to-bes wife and daughter (and Clytie too, the one remaining servant, negro, the one who would forbid him to pass the kitchen door with what he brought) depended on to keep life in them, but who now entered the house itself on the (quite frequent now) afternoons when the demon would suddenly curse the store empty of customers and lock the door and repair to the rear and in the same tone in which he used to address his orderly or even his house servants when he had them (and in which he doubtless ordered Jones to fetch from the showcase the ribbons and beads and candy) direct Jones to fetch the jug, the two of them (and Jones even sitting now who in the old days, the old dead Sunday afternoons of monotonous peace which they spent beneath the scuppernong arbor in the back yard, the demon lying in the hammock while Jones squatted against a post, rising from time to time to pour for the demon from the demijohn and the bucket of spring water which he had fetched from the spring more than a mile away then squatting again, chortling and chuckling and saying `Sho, Mister Tawm each time the demon paused)-the two of them drinking turn and turn about from the jug and the demon not lying down now nor even sitting but reaching after the third or second drink that old mans state of impotent and furious undefeat in which he would rise, swaying and plunging and shouting for his horse and pistols to ride single-handed into Washington and shoot Lincoln (a year or so too late here) and Sherman both, shouting, Kill them!
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