What did the buffalo say when his son left for school? Here are some of the best comebacks to shut them up: Who asked? is the age-old retort of the unhelpful and uninterested. They're his watch dogs. Ivana who? Dude, your dicks hanging out. But I'm clean now. What do you call it when a snowman throws a tantrum? How you respond when someone says something you dont like is entirely up to you. Sharing is caring! Continue with Recommended Cookies, It has happened to all of us. What do you call two witches who live together? What do you call a pony with a sore throat? When he did, I asked why he was ignoring me. How do you open a banana? Your parents didnt ask for you, but here we are. One shouts to the other, "I need you to help me get to the other side!" Sex without condoms is magical A baby appears and father disappears. What did 345. If you are looking for a complete list of Cortana commands, check out this page . A Mississippi. A penguin in the washing machine. It can be frustrating, and its often a difficult comeback to come up with. The man. or, the ultimate classic, Knock knock? 31. * No, you didn't. What's your point? Explanation: Photons are particles representing an amount of light. What did the dog say when it sat on some sharp stones? 14. 4. The best response to who asked is to stay calm and do your best not to overreact. Country Living editors select each product featured. Whats the difference between your dick and a bonus check? Why do cows have bells? What did the big flower say to the little flower? No? Because the queen reigned there for decades. Its important to remember that not everyone wants to engage in constructive dialogue, and sometimes the best course of action is to ignore the comment and move on. I can totally keep secrets. Im not sure how I feel about masturbation On the one hand, its pretty great. What do you call a group of rabbits backing up? Whos there? What washes up on very small beaches? I took the shell off of my racing snail, thinking it would make him faster. The salesman asks him, "Do you want an aquarium?" 2. "Make me one with everything." 2. They both have an ability to misfire. They all laughed when I said I wanted to be a comedian. Getting down and dirty with your hoes. If you would like to change your settings or withdraw consent at any time, the link to do so is in our privacy policy accessible from our home page.. A trip without kids. What do you call a lazy kangaroo? The blonde goes and licks it and says nobody in this building. Robin. Why were the teacher's eyes crossed? How did the hipster burn his mouth? Ask Google Assistant to go to a site in the Chrome app. What did one plate say to the other plate? Honesty may be the best policy, but insanity is the best defense. What did the tomato say to the other tomato during a race? Others might even make you laugh so hard you cry, so don't say we didn't warn you. Watch the video: Only 1 percent of our visitors get these 3 grammar questions right 28 Best Replies To Hmm (Witty & Clever), 29 Best Replies To Hey Handsome (Witty & Clever), Funnier Or More Funny Comparative & Superlative Forms, 25 Best Comebacks To Suck My D*ck (Witty & Clever), 9 Other Ways to Say Im Good At on a Resume, 10 Polite Ways to Say No Visitors after Surgery, 11 Best Ways to Say Im Here for You to a Loved One, 10 Professional Ways to Say I Am Not Feeling Well. My son asked me what its like to be married so I told him to leave me. This ability to anonymously put your thoughts out there for others to see leads people to frequently type and publish things they would NEVER say to someone's face. Pun lovers have been pondering what one thing said to another since almost the beginning of time. What is the square root of 69? Catch up! READ THIS NEXT: 183 Jokes for Kids That Provide Good, Clean Fun. See you next month. This response works best if the question was asked rudely. What do you call a bear without any teeth? Sneakers. By Sergios Rotar What did one pig say to the other on Valentine's Day? 39. Whats the difference between anal and oral sex? Hope you do, too: Here come the longer funny jokes! What did the banana say to the vibrator? We all wish that at the moment you could have some great response. Making love to a woman is like playing the violin. Thats the church I used to go to.. All Rights Reserved. 10 Best Funny Riddles. "That . dang i didnt know that ur so dumb u dont know the difference between answering and telling. This often diffuses the situation and shows that you are not bothered by the insult. And God said to John, "Come forth and you shall be granted eternal life." Because theyre really good at it. Get out of here! shouts the bartender. Nasty knock-knock jokes: We give some joke weapons to outdo your buddies: Children interpret everything they hear their way. Fssh. Get ready to grab your sides because they are about to hurt from all the laughter!These jokes and riddles for kids are best enjoyed and shared with loved ones. Explanation: The worlds population is split sort of evenly between men and women, making the average human part male, part female, and a complete pain to shop for. Life without women would be a pain in the butt, literally. As soon as you open it, you realize its half empty. Why does bread take so long to digest? Did you know you can actually listen to the blood in your veins? Im not sure; I was born with them.. No, you didnt, but we all make mistakes. document.addEventListener( 'DOMContentLoaded', function() { A lip reader. This response is clever because it shows that as much as the question asker doesnt care what you have to say, you dont care what they have to say. The difference between Ooooooh and Aaaaaah is about three inches. Oinkment. On June 23rd, 2011, Neogaf [6] user NIN90 . By following these tips, youll be able to handle the who asked question like a pro and keep the conversation going despite it. "Dick jokes, if you craft something amazing out of them, could be the funniest thing someone's ever heard. When they get to the ski lodge there arent enough rooms, so they have to share a bed. Well-armed. Why do vegetarians give good head? This is a funny response that puts the focus on the other person. You could read it as seriously or as a joke didnt walk into the bar. If this made you roll your eyes, just wait until you read some of these dad jokes. Oral sex makes your day. How do you embarrass an archaeologist? I have as much authority as the Pope. So youre the only one? Good luck. How did the student feel when he learned about electricity? On June 15th, 2011, Neogaf [5] user Dizzy-4U used the line as a humorous response in a thread. Girl: Hey, whats up? Boy: If I tell you, will you sit on it?. Jokes with one of my friends about the communists in ww2 (Soviets) Ended up with him being somewhat offended or at the very least didn't understand the joke. And do you love, well, jokes? Whenever someone has a health problem or feels like" (Its three.). 2. He was in a jam. The line gained popular recognition in mid-June 2011. Cookie Notice 27. You might enjoy: 50 Dirty Comebacks and Insults to Win Every Argument. Keep the tip. Traffic jam. What did the mayonnaise say when the refrigerator door was opened? Who asked / nobody asked gained popularity in reaction images in . xhr.send(payload); Robin who? Right where you left it. 7 Up in cider. A response that will make you feel like you won the confrontation. Have you ever started to tell a joke only to forget the punchline halfway through? Men are like public toilets the good ones are taken and the rest are full of crap. Why was the guitar teacher arrested? How do celebrities stay cool? But we both know that's not why you're here So, another option is to fire back with your own insult. Which is faster, hot or cold? Waiter! "Go to [site name]" "Open [site name]" Search in your apps or websites. 25. What did one say to the other? Of course, you need to screw a light bulb. You're not completely useless. 3. 37. Theyre used to eating nuts. What did one Christmas tree decoration say to the other? Please tell me this train of thought youre on has a caboose. You know why you never see elephants hiding up in trees? What do you call a teenage girl who doesnt masturbate? One shouts to the other, "I need you to help me get to the other side!" The other guy replies, "You're on the other side!" No, but I could tell you needed my help. ), *stop what you are saying and say: "Wow you are rude, but I'm pretty sure asking "Who asked?" Cookie Notice How did Burger King get Dairy Queen pregnant? Pilgrims. Once you open it, you realize its half-empty. Approximately one GB. Why don't chickens play baseball? Knock Knock! Did you hear how the zombie bodybuilder hurt his back? Because so many kings and queens have been reigning there. What did the pirate say when he turned 80? If a woman talks dirty to a man, thatll be $6.50 a minute. A cherry float. Shes going to eat me! What do you call a fake noodle? He ate the pizza before it was cool. Low flying airplane noises! Well. A guy goes to a pet store to buy a goldfish. *wink*. She wanted it in case she had to draw blood. Im taking this shit to a whole new level. I'm so good at sleeping I can do it with my eyes closed! See ya! Learn more about us here. If you see me laughing, its because I already have. Today I'm attaching a light to the ceiling, but I'm afraid I'll probably screw it up. How did a card's friends know she was enamored with someone? If they ask, "Who asked?" How do you tell the difference between an oral and a rectal thermometer? Because you should never drink and derive. Ones pretty heavy and the others a little lighter. Its To Whom. and our Last Updated: December 5th 2022. Whats the difference between a penis and a bonus? By using one of the comebacks from our list, you can shut down the person who asked without causing a scene. Dinner's on me. In fact, it could make things worse by escalating the situation and giving the troll more attention. Share the best GIFs now >>> Wife comes back from the doctor and says to her husband: The speed limit of sex is 68, because at 69 you have to turn around. Whats the best thing about dating homeless chicks? 45 lbs. 8. Why do you never see elephants hiding in trees? 40. Later they get together. But, heres a warning: Only use them in an appropriate setting where no one will be offended. This one is funny because it implies that you werent paying attention to the question asker at all and didnt even realize they were talking to you when they asked did I ask you?. This response is clever because it takes the same disrespectful energy that comes with did I ask you and hurls it back at the question asker. Joke has 83.83 % from 129 votes. Sometimes, you might be in a goofy mood or just want to laugh, so when someone asks did I ask you, you decide to give them a funny response. They saw an abandoned log cabin and went inside. Those of you who think you know it all are really annoying to those of us who do. When Did I Ask Funny Joke Humor Sarcastic Humorous Stickers 5 Results Buy any 4 and get 25% off. Why are Penises the lightest things in the world? The doctor replies, Sorry, I dont follow you . Explanation: Marxists oppose class structures. person two: where? From super-simple toddler and kindergarten jokes to riddles for older kids, here are 50 funny, easy jokes for kids. I decided to compile a list of comebacks for who asked, did I ask, and nobody asked or cares because its getting ridiculous out there. Have fun with some of these. How do you make a tissue dance? They dont actually want to know if they asked you. What do a penis and a Rubiks Cubes have in common? Where do young trees go to learn? But if you're a math teacher or a parent trying to help your kids (keyword: trying) with their math homework, you know a good laugh is exactly what the doctor ordered. Why does Santa Claus have such a big sack? Because they use a honeycomb. Pilgrims. 1. By rejecting non-essential cookies, Reddit may still use certain cookies to ensure the proper functionality of our platform. It shut all my friends up! 5. "You wait here, I'll go on ahead.". If only theyd come around andtake him off my hands. "Whaddya mean?" Christian Bale. Is it ignorance or apathy that's destroying the world today? Not to mention, it can also keep the kids busy while you're busy. You can always serve as a bad example. What do you call a boomerang that wont come back? Watch popular content from the following creators: jordan(@jjnthatsspam), Sophia Voropaeva(@_sopha21), sam(@.samceline), Human(@_that_human_being_), jamal(@jamallxoxo) . Martin has been featured as an expert in communication and teaching on Forbes and Shopify. The waiter says, "What's with the pause?" Elementree school. Its a win-win! However, if you are sure about yourself and her reaction, try one of these: There are a lot of stupid jokes among good ones. I want to die peacefully in my sleep like my grandfather did. Whats red and moves up and down? Dont worryweve explained each one, so you can still wow em with your humor and smarts. short for? What do you call friends you listen to music with? Bernadette. the bear replies. Same middle name. Whats the difference between attraction, love and showing off? Sorry, this post was deleted by the person who originally posted it. Used when someone brings up something irrelevant or not wanted in a conversation. Be sure to check back with us soon for more funny jokes. Watch popular content from the following creators: Aimzy(@aimzygg), jordan(@jjsshenanigans), sam(@.samceline), Human(@_that_human_being_), Sophia Voropaeva(@_sopha21), jamal(@jamallxoxo), camille ;)(@111camillee), Jafiki(@jafiki), (@user1118012706685), Bacon vs Emos on this acc(@savage.bacon68) . As you can see, there are plenty of comebacks for who asked, nobody cares, etc. Share well, almost never! } Don't care + didn't ask + L + Ratio + soyjak + beta + cringe + stfu + cope + seethe + ok boomer + incel + virgin + Karen + + you are not just a clown, you are the entire circus + + nah this ain't it + do better + check your privilege + pronouns in bio + anime pfp + . All day thought-provoking questions Funny coffee jokes, check out the funniest Reader s! Here's the URL for this Tweet. Question: What is another name for female Viagra? Here are 45 of his best (and cringe-inducing) jokes from previous shows and appearances, and The Office: Warning: adult humour follows "Where there's a will - there's a relative!" 16. Let's begin. 5. Then, use one of the above witty comebacks to shut them down! Strong people dont put others down. Three words to ruin a mans ego? Me: *to the person I was talking to* Sucka. Whats the difference between a woman and a computer? READ THIS NEXT:80 Corny Jokes You Can't Help But Laugh At. On February 4th, 2011, Neogaf user Kinyou [4] made a post in which they wrote that they could not get the line "I never asked for this" out of their head. Remains to be seen. Privacy Policy. Whether you're looking for popular kid jokes, animal jokes or, yes, even the dad jokes, we've got them on this list of kid-tested/parent-approved jokes for kids. These are some responses you might want to keep ready in the back of your mind. Even people who are good for nothing can bring a smile to your faceonce you shove them down the stairs, that is. Beano Jokes Team. King Henry the Second who? When you open the trunk, who is happy to see you? Me loving a good discussion ended up having a long disussion over the communists and now he and many others in our group believe i am a borderline nazi. 46. 4. var xhr = new XMLHttpRequest(); What does a 75-year old woman have between her breasts that a 25 year old doesnt? Dress her up as an altar boy. 38. Last Updated: June 16th 2022. Because he's got little legs. When I was in junior high, the girls in my class would laugh at me or ask questions designed to embarrass me. A pork chop. Martin holds a Masters degree in Finance and International Business. Whats the difference between a hockey player and a hippie chick? All it was doing was gathering dust! Whats another name for a vagina? In any case, a witty comeback will put the other person in their place and let them know that youre not going to take their crap. Descartes replies, I think not and promptly disappears. What did the rock drummer call his twin daughters? What do a guy and a car have in common? Ivana fuck your brains out. What's a foot long and slippery? A bear walks into a bar and says, "Give me a whiskey and cola.". "Are you gay?". A slipper. These classic What did? Youre getting mayo all over my bed!, Maria went home happy, telling her mother about how she earned $20 by climbing a tree. Why couldn't the bicycle stand on its own? He forgot to wrap his Whopper. I hope Death is a woman. How is a push-up bra like a bag of chips? Just because you didnt ask doesnt mean you didnt need to be told. Three guys go on a ski trip together. Ill go on a head. Where does Batman go to the bathroom? You guys didn't like it. Get ready to laugh with this Valentine's-themed joke: How did the orca ask the other to be their Valentine? He tells his waiter, "I want a grilled cheese." Smirking, the first friend replied, "Oh, c'mon I'm just tittin'.". Not all men are annoying. To view the purposes they believe they have legitimate interest for, or to object to this data processing use the vendor list link below.
